Evolution? Really?

First things first, humans display no advantage as the “highest form of evolution.” Also, note that compared to other species, we are technically devolving. Natural selection calls for the greater kind to overpower and flourish over the other. What do humans have?! Or maybe we lost our advantages! Oh! If only I had the grasping toes of my great-great-great-great-(many greats later)-great-great grandfather. But I lost them because natural selection wanted me too! I probably had wings too(I shed a few tears right here). Also, if we should be evolving, why am I missing a tail? I wish evolution let me keep my tail; then I could hold my bag of chips while drinking my soda while selecting a YouTube video all at the same time. But seriously, we have no advantage to prove natural selection. Most of us can’t even jump higher than 2 feet.
Somewhere along the line, we lost a couple thousand eyes. And can someone please give me back my gills? I don’t see how losing gills could possibly be evolving!

Secondly, there are absolutely no fossils to even remotely prove evolution. In fact, the fossil record disproves evolution. There should be millions upon millions of intermediates to record  the species transitioning. We can’t even find one. Not even one! Where did they go? Did all the fossils sit up one morning and decide to disappear? Maybe they all got on a spaceship and went to Mars? It is also possible that an extinct cyclops monkey ate them all. At this point, I would like to point out the possibility that these transitions can’t be found because they don’t exist!

Lastly, the law of entropy laughs at every single argument that evolution has to offer. Entropy is very real and very proved. Try it. Throw your phone at the window as hard as you can. Now count the pieces, and please don’t cut yourself (10 million disorganized pieces of glass are very sharp) Oh, and did I mention how disorganized the pieces are! I would like to add that the pieces of glass are now very disorganized. And I don’t think your phone is too happy either. Don’t even try putting it’s screen back together, it’s gone(very gone). I think what you need, is a brand new iPhone. And let me tell you, that brand new iPhone is gonna be dirty if you don’t clean it. And just keep in mind, that cloth that you’re using to clean it is going wear out soon. Hold on, do I hear something? Oh is that someone yelling “Entropy?” Yes! And also, notice that the sound waves diminished as they got closer. Hey reader, guess what? Say hello to entropy, the destroyer of all. If our earth were in fact 4.543 billion years old(I had to Google that), our beloved earth would be nothing more than intergalactic space dust. Even the sun would be space dust. Even space would be space dust. And after so many years, even that space dust would become space dust.